The Love and I

There has been only two phases in my life. When I am happy and in love and when I am alone and trying to prove myself I am better off like that. As sad as it sounds, in the end it makes me a hopeless romantic (or an idiot), always thinking that love will find it’s way back to my life. I am definitely a person who is always HOPING (that he only cheated once and will definitely change) and NEVER GIVES UP ON LOVE (it doesn’t really count when he broke up with me in a text, right? He will still fly over with a bunch of roses, propose to me and then I will give birth to three beautiful kids of the most amazing liar and cheater in the world, right??!!)I think the ones not hoping for things to turn good are either lying OR they built a protective wall of cynicism and despair and they drown themselves in meaningless relationships OR they actually LOVE and APPRECIATE themselves. It is a whole new idea for me. Self love and respect. I mean, I am from the Czech republic. When I guy insults you, it is taken for a sign of devotion.So I will try to bring this concept to my next relationship. Right now I am just standing in front of the mirror and telling myself: Alena, you are the sexiest thing ever. Which is totally sane and cool until your friend catches you doing it while touching your breasts.Anyway. Vive l’ amour and especially to myself. Being happy by myself is essential. Even though I  know am NOT better off that way. She says while stuffing her mouth with cookies wishing it was… a lollipop.